I have been asked recently whether I am still working, and the answer is a resounding “Yes!”. I have, however, been very quiet on the blog front, posting little in social media either.
Why?
Well partly because of temporary changes in priorities and partly because, let’s face it, I have been coasting. And I am absolutely fine about that. So let’s unpick these two reasons:
Temporary changes in priorities
Haven’t we all had these recently? I made a conscious decision at the start of the year, that for the first three months I would focus on my dissertation so I could finish my Masters in Applied Positive Psychology and Coaching Psychology. I wouldn’t stop working, but I wouldn’t actively look for clients either. Work rolled in… and a ten day break to the UK to focus on family has turned into a six week exile, as the borders closed and flights halted due to the Covid-19 pandemic.
With my hotel closing the kitchens, and no sign of an end of my time in the UK in sight, I made the decision to return to my childhood home before they closed the border between England and Wales. So, I have spent the last five weeks in Aberystwyth, a lovely small town on the Welsh coast, keeping my aging father (he will not welcome that description) company. It had been one of my regrets when planning this trip that I was going to be so near to my home town, but could not visit my father because of time constraints. Now I have all the time in the world to chat with him, work in the garden with him and do all those small jobs in the house that were still sitting on my ‘To Do’ list at the end of each of my previous visits. And it is wonderful!
I am practicing gratitude everyday, recognizing that this time with him is my silver lining to being kept away from my home in Dubai. And those moments of gratitude: for the weather (the sun has not shone as much here for a long time); the long country walks only minutes from the house; the outdoor space and being able to get back in touch with working the soil in the garden. Also, I am here when he needed some company, being over 70 and therefore self isolating. All of these moments – when I think of the positive aspects of being here – these moment are making my time here a positive experience, reducing the worry of what will happen next, adding to my personal resources to combat the stress of the pandemic and giving me insight as to how strong I really am.
Coasting
I have a client at the moment who, when I ask what is ‘good enough’, responds with ‘Perfection’. Although they can see that striving for perfection in every aspect of their life will lead to exhaustion, I can see they are not quite convinced that just sitting back for a while in one or two areas… coasting… is actually for them.
Coasting is a state of positive mental health, but reduced engagement in that area. Just doing enough to get by, to keep the wheels turning with minimal effort. Don’t get me wrong, the moment I tune into each and every client meeting, my brain is whirring at 100% and my focus is total, it’s just between times I have let the mundane aspects of running a business slide. I have been coasting.
This is mostly connected to the first point – a shift in priorities. However I want to look at coasting in general. Sometimes you just need to ease off on the throttle to give yourself time to think; to regain energy; to focus more on another area of life; or just plain procrastinate for a while. The secret to good coasting is to accept it for the time being for what it is – a time to breathe – and not to judge yourself too harshly for it. At least that is what I am telling myself!
So, my first blog in a while. What has spurred me to writing again? A combination of things:
- Completion of my dissertation
- Breaking the back of the revamp of my father’s house
- A couple of new contracts on the horizon which have refocused my mind
- And allowing myself space to write again in what has been a very busy period of coasting
Over the next few blog posts I will examine some ways of coping with the ‘interesting’ and stressful times we are living through with the Covid-19 pandemic, using positive psychology to help you. In the meantime, I am heading out for a gentle walk in the local countryside, breathing in the scent of the grass and savoring the views and the ever changing wild flora I come across.
